After I talked to her and hanged up the phone, I was wondering what was she talking about. I tried to recall our conversation trying to digest everything she said. Then it dawned on me that it was something really scary.
She found an abnormal cell in my recent pap smear. That was what the call was all about. She is going to refer me to an OB Gyne for a biopsy so make sure what it is. Apparently, that abnormal cell may cause cancer of the uterus. Though she said it was very unlikely but due to my age and family history - I had a cousin who died of cervical cancer 2 years ago and another cousin who just had a hysterectomy two weeks ago - it would be the best thing to do. I agreed.
My biopsy schedule is today at 3:45 pm. I received the news last month and I kept it to myself until two days ago. I never told a soul till then. I am so scared! The thought of the big C scared the hell out of me!
Last night, me and hubby was crying as we held each other. I told him that if I would be found with cancer, I wanted to go home and be with my family. But as I was saying that, I realized that he too is my family. I was torn and cried some more. This morning before I left for work, we hugged each other and cried harder. And in the car as we drove to the hospital for my scheduled biopsy we were holding hands like we never want to let go.
At the hospital, I have never seen his face so scared before. I could see in his eyes how worried he was. I wanted to cry but I controlled myself.
I only saw the glow in his eyes again when I told him that I didn't need a biopsy. The OB Gyne said that upon studying my family doctor's paperworks, the abnormal cell normally occur during the menstrual cycle. I had the pap smear during that period and I'm all set.
Oh what a relief. We still held each other's hand on our way home.
My Two Questions:
1. Have you been so scared of anything before?
2. What would you do if you received such a terrifying news?