It was one of those rare phone calls that I hate to receive since I left home. I was talking to my friend and former colleague from home trying to grasp the essence of our conversation. Her voice was firm and full of conviction. Her tone was strong and filled with total resignation. Her breathing was deep yet consistent. She was cool, calm and collected.
"Be strong, Mare [a term we used to address each other because her first born is my Goddaughter]." She said in a matter-of-factly way.
“If it is God’s will for me, then I have to accept it.” She sustained as I continued sobbing and said nothing but “Mare”
"This is just one of the mysteries of life and we have no choice but to accept it with faith in our hearts" She continued saying and assuring me that… EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.
But I am not OK! Neither is she!
She is not OK! SHE HAS LUNG CANCER!
Yes, my dear Mare is dealing with the big C. And it was not OK with me. The news was so overwhelming because I miss my dear friend so much. She was one my few BFFs whom I consider as the sister I never had. We went through a lot of things. We shared a lot of life-changing experiences that made us better persons. We fought together as allies for what we believe in. And we cried together during those times when either one of us was in our lowest.
Yes, my dear Mare is facing the greatest challenge of her life. She is dealing with the toughest truth that shocks not only her family but friends and students alike. And she accepts the harsh reality with total resignation and faith in God. I don’t know about other people but I do fail a lot of times in the “faith department”. I am the most impatient person I've ever known. And “doubtful” should be my middle name.
Yes, I do have faith but faith works better with patience. I have gone through a lot of tough times too and sometimes I felt like giving up blaming others but myself when things didn't go my way. With all the blessings that I have received I still feel that I am not blessed enough like other people. And I still believe that life is unfair just because I feel so frustrated with all my failures in life due to the wrong choices I made.
My Mare opened up my eyes to an entirely new way to look at life. Miracles happen all the time. Miracles happen when you least expected it. And Miracles happen to those who believe. We do not know if she will have her share of miracle. But there is one thing I am very sure of… she is my miracle for she brings back my faith in life.
Author's Note: This was written 5 years ago. It has been 5 year now since I received that call and I will never ever forget that moment. I always go back to that moment when I am at my lowest to remind me that God is good - all the time.
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